


Familial Discord

by zarabithia



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Multi, Pregnancy, Sex Pollen, dub-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 11:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14893388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarabithia/pseuds/zarabithia
Summary: WhoisBaby Helena's daddy? AKA, the story where I ignore/change canon completely.





	Familial Discord

Optimism was a bizarre concept, one that Jason didn't much believe in. By his third birthday, he'd seen enough evidence that it was a notion that belonged only to the kind of fools that wore bright, primary colors that clashed too much with the Gotham skyline to ever fit in _his_ city. Gotham didn't have any marvels, super or otherwise.

But he had thought he understood optimists well enough to be certain that Catwoman was smart enough not to be one. Apparently, he was wrong.

Because when the best thing that Bruce had _ever_ done spotted his bruised form crawling away from the second exploding building of his life - this one Jason blamed entirely on the man that had once called him son, even if the Joker _had_ been involved - she ignored Jason's protests, wiped away the worst of the grime and carried him back to her apartment to finish bandaging up his wounds. Which, in and of itself, wasn't all that optimistic. But the fact that she truly believed Bruce would let him recuperate in peace was. As was the notion that Jason had any of that dorky, sidekick _goodness_ left in him, the way Selina seemed to believe.

Since he'd been dead, Selina had gotten a lot stupider.

Jason wasn't that stupid, but it was nice to have a soft place to sleep, and recuperating from the second exploding building of his life took enough out of him that he gave in to her mother henning temporarily.

As it turned out, his giving in lasted just long enough for Batman for prove him right.

~~~***~~~

Dick gave an internal sigh as he listened to Bruce lecture Selina and watched Jason - who, really, was still injured, and not in any position to put up a fight - attempt to engage him in battle and wondered why exactly he'd agreed with this. Yes, Jason was family, and yes, Jason was a threat that needed to be stopped, but this rooftop standoff against their wounded little bat and an angry, protective Catwoman seemed unnecessary at best, and unfair at worst.

"Jason," he growled, blocking a punch with far more ease than he typically would have when up against his middle brother. "I don't want to fight you."

"Yeah? Can't really say the same," was the retort, as Jason threw a fairly wobbly kick in his direction.

Blocking the kick, Dick gave another internal sigh and was thankful that Robin had been called away on Titans' business. Perhaps it was disloyal of him, but Dick wondered if he could use previous Titan membership as an excuse to join Tim and leave Bruce to take care of this . . . _mess_ all by himself.

Or join Roy. God, he missed Roy.

~~~***~~~

A rooftop away, hidden in shadows of a gargoyle that normally would not have protected them from the every-watchful eye of the Bat, two would-be thieves of a far more malevolent nature than Selina Kyle had _ever_ been stood watching the fray between the Bats and the Cat. The one decked in green held her illegally obtained jewels loftily in one hand while she watched with a detached interest. Her partner was a study in contrasts, clutching the goods tightly against her chest while she watched the familial dispute intently.

"Poor kitty cat," the second one cooed. "Batman looks as upset with her as my Puddin' does with me sometimes."

"Poor kitty cat wouldn't be in that mess if she had more sense than to get involved with goody-two-shoes superheroes in the first place, Harley," the first responded. "I'm not inclined to feel sorry for her."

"Can't you give her a present anyway? Some of your _special_ spores?"

Ivy wasn't particularly in the mood to comply - sex pollen was only for limited occasions - but the minute Nightwing looked up and _saw_ them, she changed her mind. Batman could have all the domestic cat fights he wanted, but neither she nor her partner were going to bear the brunt of their frustrations.

Especially when there were far more interesting ways for the fussy family to work off their tensions.

 

~~~***~~~

It was hardly the first time _any_ of them had been hit by sex pollen. Ergo, there was a brief moment of recognition before the spores kicked in that all four of them realized exactly what was going on.

"This is all your fault!" Selina spat, giving a kick to a groin that moments later was receiving much more tender caresses, if not necessarily from her.

"I never forced you to willingly harbor a criminal!" Bruce retorted, glaring at the younger man who moments later would be receiving far gentler treatment from Bruce's mouth.

"Have I mentioned lately what a fucking worthless piece of shit father you are?" Jason yelled, wobbling a bit until he was caught by a man who moments later would be having less than familial thoughts about his middle brother.

 _'I really miss Roy,'_ Dick thought, though moments later he would taking turns having sex with three people who bore absolutely no resemblance to Roy Harper whatsoever.

 

~~~***~~~

Jason was not taken into custody that day. While Bruce still felt morally obligated to bring Red Hood to justice, he also felt morally obligated _not_ to arrest the person he'd just swapped bodily fluids with multiple times. Following a very messy clean up on the roof of Selina's apartment building, Bruce hastily retreated towards the Bat Cave and his part of Gotham.

Selina helped Jason get cleaned up, and later on that night, arranged for safe passage out of Gotham.

Dick went to apologize to Roy.

Upon arriving home, Bruce filed and documented the incident, which was in turn read by Robin once the "Titan business" had been taken care of. Glancing over the report, Tim kept whatever shock he may have felt internalized, asking only, "You did use condoms, I hope?"

Bruce simply glared at his young charge, allowing Robin to continue. "Because Selina should be fertile, currently, if my calculations are correct."

Batman ignored Robin yet again, planning to add the sex pollen orgy with his long time lover and sons to the list of things never to be discussed again. And all four participants, plus Robin, probably would have stuck with that plan, had it not been for the vomiting than began interrupting Selina's daily schedule five weeks after the incident in question.

Robin's calculations had been correct.

~~~***~~~


End file.
